The Cast of Both Lunars as MMO players

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The Cast of Both Lunars as MMO players

Postby Jenner » Wed May 01, 2019 12:08 pm

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Kyle is the boisterous over confident tank who pulls way too much aggro and dies, wiping the raid.

Mia is the guild healer and team mom who everyone loves. Ceaselessly optimistic, uncomplaining, and just likes to dress her character up cute. Doesn't even care about the gearscore.

Jessica is that DPS who has the best gear but transmogs her armor to look like the most revealing outfit available. She does really good DPS and she records all the raids but she's drunk all the time and her character's butt is always prominent in the videos.

Nash is that player who's always at the bottom of the DPS charts and who complains endlessly on voice chat about how everyone else is holding him back that you carry through the raid.

Alex is that really quiet main tank who claims he doesn't have a mic and never uses voice chat but he's a great tank and he can somehow manage type out orders and -Dragon Diamond- in chat at the same time as he's tanking without losing aggro. He only talks when he's organizing the raid. Never socializes. Only shows up for raids. Passes on loot.

Luna will only play as a bard and don't get me wrong, she's a great bard but it's hard to fit her into the raid when there are folks with more optimized builds who are willing to change classes to fill roles. She's really friendly and an insomniac who sings karaoke to/with the other insomniacs in voice chat. Beautiful voice.

Nall keeps getting temp banned for cussing in trade chat and he has a myriad of petty grudges with players you've never even heard of. He pretends like he's a big deal but he totally sucks and you only bring him along because he's funny and he's the only one with max cooking skill and that food buff is crucial.

Laike is decades older than everyone else in the guild and spends a lot of time reminiscing about the good old days on Ultima Online and making dad jokes. He tries to be "with it" and reference current memes and such but he always gets it wrong and nobody can tell if he's trolling or not. He's supposed to be an off tank but he's got an ego and keeps fighting for aggro.

Tempest is that guy who spams the channel with pictures of his horses and won't stop talking about his horses and how much he loves his horses and when a guild member visits him while on a business trip they confirm that he does have horses and they're great but he also has a sex dungeon.

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Hiro is an undergeared tank who is TRYING HIS BEST and what he lacks in gear and ability he makes up in sincere earnestness and optimism. "We can do this, friends! I believe in us!" He shouts into voice chat as you buff again after wiping for the 6th time. Nobody has the heart to tell him he's not even in tanking stance.

Ronfar is that super rich banksitter guy who plays the auction house and keeps getting muted or kicked from voice chat because he won't stop telling sexist jokes. He's supposed to be a healer but he's specced for DPS and he technically makes it work but it'd be nicer if he was a team player.

Lemina is the overgeared minmaxing DPS character who will not control her aggro and is just there to see what kinds of huge numbers of damage she can do while cackling madly into voice chat and talking about the latest mlm scheme she got roped into.

Lucia always signs up for raid but almost always flakes. When she does show up she either blows it out of the water or just sleeps through it with minimal investment and you can never tell which mood she's in. She uses a voice modulator in voice chat to sound like a British robot and nobody knows who she really is but everyone thinks her gimmick of being super verbose is hilarious. (It's not a gimmick.)

Jean is the really good DPS character that's always being headhunted by other guilds but she stays with your guild because she likes the community. She's already got all the gear she needs but she keeps selflessly showing up to raids to help everyone else get gear. She knows all the encounters by heart and she coaches but she never yells at folks or tries to be over controlling. Everyone -Fatal Hopper- loves her and she's always making jokes in guild chat. She keeps posting thirst traps in the selfies channel and that only makes you love her more.

Leo is that guy who pretends to be a veteran but never -Fatal Hopper- elaborates. He loves our troops and blue lives matter. But that's all an act and he's actually a huge dork who goes to fur cons, loves romance novels, and writes fanfiction. He's only putting on this act because he thinks it's what he needs to do to be respected and seen as an equal by the rest of the guys.

Ruby keeps getting temp banned from the game for cussing and spouting off slurs and insults in trade chat and she once told an admin to eat her ass and got banned for an entire month. She does ok DPS and is a great pitch hitter but she won't stop being offensive in chat and more than half the guild has her on their ignore list.
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Re: The Cast of Both Lunars as MMO players

Postby Kizyr » Thu May 16, 2019 9:49 pm

Honestly stuff like this just makes me love Jean as a character even more.

...Leo's all right. He'll come around eventually. KF

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