Jenner's Guide to "Getting" Girls.

[Jenner]

Okay, this thread goes out to Nobi and Phyco especially, but also to all you other frustrated fellas out there who are getting tired of being alone.

A lot of the magazines will tell you you got to be in touch with your feelings and try to be empathetic and pick up on emotions, and this is true. Unfortunately many girls just kind of expect a guy to be psychic and it's not fair to ya'll. They also expect to be pursued and wooed, and this is also rubbish. I am not a big fan of this up-coming and current generation (including my generation!) of women. For the most part they seem shallow and materialistic on a whole. The truth is, it's all about compromise.

Firstly, don't be afraid of rejection. Go ahead and ask a girl if she'd like to hang out, and do not be vague and cop out with sometime, be concrete:
Phyco/Mickey: "Hello there, I'm sorry if I'm interrupting you, but I was planning on watching The Ski Joring Carnival this up-coming Saturday and I was wondering if you would like to come with me." do some research on the subject as well "It should be really fun and I know you'd enjoy yourself, I'd like to see you smile." Dude, that'll melt her panties right off.
(However, the Monarch Mountain's 4th Annual Kayaks on Snow Event totally looks like it would be WAY MORE FUN but that's a month away, my goodness.)
Pretty Lady/Attractive and Deceptively Under-aged girl: "that does sound like fun!"

Second, don't go for fake blonds, or even real ones! They're trouble. Go for Brunettes, or dark haired girls who are comfortable with themselves. And don't be afraid to settle for a girl who may not be the epicenter of attractiveness, because those girls are usually much cooler to hang out with anyway, and they appreciate it more.

Next on the list is how you dress and present yourself. Make sure your teeth are clean, and wear some nicer, but casual, clothes. Also, don't meet people at malls, try doing things that YOU enjoy and looking for people there. Then, you already have something in common. Great ideas to look are places you visit regularly, local coffee shops, mom-and-pop stores, bakeries, tattoo parlors, whatever. Participate and go to community events just Google "Community Events in (your county here) (your city here)" that interest you, these are great places to meet people and, they're not your stereotypical date, this makes you memorable.

(The mall does sometimes work actually, because I saw a guy pick up a girl at the build-a-bear place once. I was just roaming about it when I heard, "It always depresses me that they don't have tentacles and scorpion tails and cool stuff like that" He totally got the girl!)

Don't try too hard, don't give up, and don't quit before you start, just go for it.

If you have a dog, take it out on public walks and see if you can attract the ladies that way.

leave a 100 bill sticking out of your fly (they call it fly fishing! lawl!) but seriously, I'll add more later

[Nobiyuki77]

In CT, community activities are aimed at people 50 or 5 year olds.

D:

[Sonic#]

In CT, community activities are aimed at people 50 or 5 year olds.

D:

The Millennial Fair seemed fairly age-diverse; I don't know what you're talking about.

Second, don't go for fake blonds, or even real ones! They're trouble. Go for Brunettes, or dark haired girls who are comfortable with themselves. And don't be afraid to settle for a girl who may not be the epicenter of attractiveness, because those girls are usually much cooler to hang out with anyway, and they appreciate it more.

Well, that rules out my fiancee. (She's naturally blonde, though she has also put henna in her hair recently.)

Honestly, a lot of the advice you give is good, but here I have to disagree, not so much with the thought as the way you say it. No, attractiveness should not be the sole classification for finding someone. Dating someone less attractive need not even be seen as settling, especially if she has everything that phyco/Mickey/Nobi/whoever personally want. And finally, on the reverse end, someone being blonde or attractive does not mark them as automatically shallow, conceited, or otherwise "trouble" at all. Similarly, brunettes need not be secure in themselves either. Hair color isn't the determiningfactor in this case, and I don't think there is a single convenient one to refer to as a rule or even strong tendency.

[Kizyr]

There's a key "secret" to asking someone out, while removing nearly all of the anxiety in doing so.

Step 1: Make plans to do things by yourself, but things that could easily accommodate someone else.
Step 2: Bring these up in casual conversation.
Step 3 goes naturally from there. Observe.

A: Any plans for the weekend?
B: Nah, not really. You?
A: Not much... There's this one exhibit on Pompeii at the National Gallery of Art that's closing on Sunday. I was going to try to catch that. [Step 2]
B: Huh. That sounds interesting.
A: Would you want to go? I wouldn't mind the company. [Step 3]
B: Yeah, sure. Sounds like fun.
A: There's this teahouse nearby that I usually stop off at for lunch. How about we meet there?

Some of the benefits to this:
- You're doing things that you'd enjoy doing.
- You're not putting pressure on someone else to go with you, but making it easy to accept or reject if they'd like.
- You eliminate both the fear of rejection on your part (it's just your own plans that you were going to do anyway), and the anxiety of having to reject someone on their part (they've already made those plans, so they won't feel bad if I don't go).

The only difficulty, then, is bringing it up in conversation somewhere. This is easy to do with people you already know, or are on friendly terms with. It's rather difficult to do with someone you don't yet know (like, if you're trying to "pick someone up").

Mickey, you could totally do this with hiking. And, this way, you're more likely to find a girl who's also outdoorsy and likes the same thing. KF

[Werefrog]

There's a key "secret" to asking someone out, while removing nearly all of the anxiety in doing so.

Step 1: Make plans to do things by yourself, but things that could easily accommodate someone else.
Step 2: Bring these up in casual conversation.
Step 3 goes naturally from there. Observe.

You forgot Step 0: use Facebook to look up someone's interest to decide what you should plan to do. Reminds me of this xkcd: http://xkcd.com/300/.

(Obviously this is not real advice. Please don't do this.)

[phyco126]

Ah, but see there are many problems. First off, its hard to follow anyones advice anymore, mostly because of how many times I was screwed with bad advice. Seriously. http://xkcd.com/306/ Second, when I am given good advice, I usually mess it up. I.E. -

Step 1: Make plans to do things by yourself, but things that could easily accommodate someone else.
Step 2: Bring these up in casual conversation.
Step 3 goes naturally from there. Observe. - KF

For me, it usually ends up like this:

Me: Oh nothing much, I'm just going to this speed dating thing. Hey, wanna come? Hell, we can just skip it and go to my place and get jiggy with it while taking a tub of butter an-*SLAP* ... Okay... call me?!

The third problem is my intense shyness. Seriously, it seriously takes a cattle prod to force me out of my comfort zone. Should have seen what my best friend had to do to get me to call a girl who totally gave me her number.

The forth problem is there isn't much I do. I go to work, sleep, and go to school. Thats the staple of my boring life. Lately I've been looking at ways to spice it up, but there isn't anything I like to do by myself and there isn't anyone who wants to do anything with me. Well, aside from a Renaissance fair that me and a friend are planning on going to. That'll be cool, but that won't be until summer.

The final problem is I have a serious problem knowing what is appropiate and what isn't. Friends don't help either, and let me tell you, chick flick romance movies lie as well.

[Nobiyuki77]

The forth problem is there isn't much I do. I go to work, sleep, and go to school. Thats the staple of my boring life. Lately I've been looking at ways to spice it up, but there isn't anything I like to do by myself and there isn't anyone who wants to do anything with me. Well, aside from a Renaissance fair that me and a friend are planning on going to. That'll be cool, but that won't be until summer.

The final problem is I have a serious problem knowing what is appropiate and what isn't. Friends don't help either, and let me tell you, chick flick romance movies lie as well.

This is part of my problem. Well, there's also nothing TO do in CT... >> << I also have problems sometimes telling the difference between going too far and not going far enough...

[phyco126]

The forth problem is there isn't much I do. I go to work, sleep, and go to school. Thats the staple of my boring life. Lately I've been looking at ways to spice it up, but there isn't anything I like to do by myself and there isn't anyone who wants to do anything with me. Well, aside from a Renaissance fair that me and a friend are planning on going to. That'll be cool, but that won't be until summer.

The final problem is I have a serious problem knowing what is appropiate and what isn't. Friends don't help either, and let me tell you, chick flick romance movies lie as well.

This is part of my problem. Well, there's also nothing TO do in CT... >> << I also have problems sometimes telling the difference between going too far and not going far enough...

There is plenty to do here in Colorado, but like I said, I hate even thinking of leaving my comfort zone. Plus, everything else there is to do I don't like the idea of doing it by myself. Also, been there, done that on that last part.

[GhaleonOne]

How did my name get thrown up in this? Sure, I'm single, but not really looking much either. Don't get me wrong, if the right girl came along, great... but I'm not in any rush whatsoever. (plus, I got that purity race thing still going for me!)

But I will add, Kiz is right, hiking really is a decent way to meet girls. I totally plan on meeting a cute European girl when hiking in the Alps this summer. Haha! My only real problem is that I hike WAY too early and WAY too far to even see most people on the trails except the hardcore photographers or backpackers.

[Monde Luna]

I'm just curious G1 how far is to far? (hiking)

[GhaleonOne]

Probably 10-15 miles with 2000-3000 foot elevation gain on average. Usually at a starting altitude between 8000-9000 ft. above sea level. Sometimes a little higher. Though these days, I'm usually starting those hikes at 4AM to get where I want for sunrise photos. I probably won't be able to do that in the Alps though, as you have to take cable cars and gondola's to even get to the starting point of many hikes there.

[Kizyr]

How did my name get thrown up in this? Sure, I'm single, but not really looking much either. Don't get me wrong, if the right girl came along, great... but I'm not in any rush whatsoever. (plus, I got that purity race thing still going for me!)

But I will add, Kiz is right, hiking really is a decent way to meet girls. I totally plan on meeting a cute European girl when hiking in the Alps this summer. Haha! My only real problem is that I hike WAY too early and WAY too far to even see most people on the trails except the hardcore photographers or backpackers.

Your name came up because you'd be a great candidate!

Anyway, you came up since you have a hobby that can easily be enjoyed by yourself or with other people. So it's easy to invite someone along, and it's a pretty good way to find someone who'll have many things in common with you: love of nature/the outdoors, good health, adventuresome, etc.

Me, I'm more into nerdy/intellectual girls. So, museums and anime conventions are better options for me. That doesn't mean I go to pick up women, though--I enjoy museums and the like in their own right. Actually, on that note, I'd recommend against taking up anything just to pick up women; it ends up being rather shallow and sooner or later it shows. KF

[WD RPG WD]

I'm afraid I'm too picky. If it dosn't have a pulse I'm not going near it....

Ok, ussually I won't.

[localflick]

Pretty Lady/Attractive and Deceptively Under-aged girl:

That's a funny title and also incredibly descriptive... sounds like an NPC in an Earthbound game.

[Agawa]

Actually, on that note, I'd recommend against taking up anything just to pick up women; it ends up being rather shallow and sooner or later it shows. KF

I definitely agree here. Start friendships with people and see where it goes from there, and don't treat anyone like you're only hanging out with them as the means to an end. (In other words, don't do this:http://xkcd.com/513/) Don't do totally change your habits for them, or pretend to be into things you aren't, because if you pretend to be someone you aren't than any relationship you'll have will be built on falsehoods. Don't pressure them - A friend of mine spent five years asking another friend of mine for a date. It's obnoxious, and makes you the last person they'd want to date most of the time. (No = no!) And finally, don't pressure yourself. If it happens it happens, if it doesn't, it doesn't.

[Sonic#]

Kizyr's advice on things to do is pretty good. Friend-making skills! Honestly, I need to be more proactive in that regard.

Finally, I have to ask:

Why does everyone keep citing xkcd? I know I'm guilty of it too. I guess it's a pretty good guide on what not to do.

[Werefrog]

XKCD, like Kevin Bacon can be connected to everything. Unlike Kevin Bacon, it should be connected to everything.

[Kizyr]

This has become the citing-xkcd thread now. It is a webcomic of romance, after all.

I'm actually more active on the xkcd forums than here these days. KF

[Werefrog]

This has become the citing-xkcd thread now. It is a webcomic of romance, after all.

Citation Needed

[Monde Luna]

Probably 10-15 miles with 2000-3000 foot elevation gain on average. Usually at a starting altitude between 8000-9000 ft. above sea level. Sometimes a little higher. Though these days, I'm usually starting those hikes at 4AM to get where I want for sunrise photos. I probably won't be able to do that in the Alps though, as you have to take cable cars and gondola's to even get to the starting point of many hikes there.

That definitely qualifies as being too far and to early. 5am 7 miles would be okay but 4am is pushing it and so is 10+. Good lordy that is good exercise though!