tl;dr

[Jenner]

[cruise control] I JUST WANT YOU ALL TO KNOW THAT I HAVE A RELEVANT TOPIC THAT I WOULD LIKE TO DISCUSS IN DEPTH FOR AN EXTENDED PERIOD OF TIME. BUT, BEFORE I BEGIN I JUST WANT TO LET YOU KNOW THAT I AM, IN NO WAY, GOING TO APPROACH THIS WITH ANY MANNER OF INTELLIGENT THOUGHT AND RESEARCH AND I AM GOING TO INTENTIONALLY TRY TO BE AS OFFENSIVE AS POSSIBLE. ALSO, YOUR MOM. NOW THEN, CONSERVATIVES: WHAT THE -Fatal Hopper-? FIRSTLY, WHERE THE HELL DID ALL THESE MINORITIES COME FROM? THEY DIDN'T USE TO HAVE THOSE; THEY MUST BE RENTING THEM FROM RAY'S DISCOUNT MINORITY WAREHOUSE. AND WHAT THE -Dragon Diamond- IS UP WITH ALL THIS HYPOCRISY AND CRYING AND -Dung Beetle-, I MEAN SERIOUSLY, ARE THEY ALL A BUNCH OF BABIES? AND WHAT IS THE DEAL WITH THIS ASSHAT[PIC UNRELATED]. "THE PARTY'S FOUNDING MEMBERS CHOSE THE NAME "REPUBLICAN PARTY" IN THE MID-1850S IN PART AS AN HOMAGE TO THOMAS JEFFERSON (IT WAS THE NAME INITIALLY USED BY HIS PARTY) THE NAME ECHOED THE 1776 REPUBLICAN VALUES OF CIVIC VIRTUE AND OPPOSITION TO ARISTOCRACY AND CORRUPTION" LOL, IRONY. I MEAN, SERIOUSLY, I DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THE MEDIA IS GIVING THEM ANY ATTENTION. IT UPSETS ME DEEPLY. I REALLY WANTED TO MAKE THIS THREAD TL;DR BUT I'M RUNNING OUT OF THINGS TO TYPE ABOUT SO NOW I AM JUST GOING TO RAMBLE ON INCOHERENTLY, ALSO I AM BORED AND CANNOT SLEEP. OH, AND I HATE DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME. (BOTH DIRECTIONS!) LAWL TIME IS A SLUT BECAUSE IT GOES BOTH WAYS. ISN'T AMERICA THE ONLY COUNTRY THAT PRACTICES DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME? I'M NOT GOING TO BOTHER LOOKING IT UP. PEOPLE SHOULD BEAT OTHER PEOPLES CHILDREN SO THEIR PARENTS DON'T GET IN TROUBLE. THIS WOULD TOTALLY WORK, I DO NOT SEE HOW IT COULD FAIL, IT IS A FOOLPROOF PLAN. I AM PLEASED WITH MY VICTORY, SEND CHOCOLATE AND PRAISE. IT IS ALMOST 9 AM AND I CAN'T SLEEP. WHY DO DUCKBILLED PLATYPUSSES HAVE TO GO AND -Fatal Hopper- WITH BIOLOGY, WE HAD A GOOD THING GOING HERE YOU FREAKS. I READ SOMEWHERE THAT CROCODILES ARE LIKE ONE OF THE DEADLIEST AND MOST SUCCESSFUL KILLERS/PREDATORS ON EARTH. I MADE A CROCODILE IN SPORE AND ITS STATS WERE NOT IMPRESSIVE, I DON'T KNOW WHO TO BELIEVE ANYMORE AND I HAVE BEEN HOLDING DOWN THE SHIFT KEY THIS WHOLE TIME! I'VE FOUND THAT IT HELPS ME TO KEEP WRITING IT LIKE THIS IF I IMAGINE MYSELF YELLING IT. ALSO, I'VE FOUND THAT WHILE TYPING IN CAPS LOCK I AM STRIKING THE KEYS ON MY KEYBOARD MUCH HARDER THAN I WOULD REGULARLY, OBVIOUSLY I AM TYPING VERY LOUDLY. ALSO, UNNECESSARY BOLDING, LOL. FOR GOODNESS SAKES, SOMEONE ENTERTAIN ME. I BOUGHT THREE PACKS OF KLONDIKE BARS, AND I ATE THEM OVER THE COURSE OF 2 MONTHS. YOU KNOW WHAT I DID FOR THEM? (OTHER THAN PAY FOR THEM AT MY EXPENSE...) I DID JACK -Dragon Diamond- THAT'S RIGHT, -Fatal Hopper- YOU KLONDIKE, -Fatal Hopper- YOU STRAIGHT IN THE EAR. I THINK IT'S TIME FOR GRATUITOUS EXCLAMATION POINTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IS THIS POST TL;DR YET BECAUSE I KNOW THERE ARE QUITE A FEW OF YOU PERSISTENT -Fatal Hopper- ON THIS FORUM WHO WILL STILL BE READING THIS -Dragon Diamond- AND COMING UP WITH THOUGHTFUL ANALYSIS AND CONVERSATION. I'M LOOKING AT YOU SVET-KUN, YOU ARE RUINING THIS FOR ME, RIGHT NOW. YOU ARE MAKING IT WORSE FOR EVERYBODY. ALSO, DICKS EVERYWHERE: PEWPEWPEW! HOW DO 16 YEAR OLD BOYS MANAGE TO DO THIS ALL THE TIME ON THE INTERNET? IT IS MORE DIFFICULT THAN IT SEEMS. I MUST BE TRYING TOO HARD, BECAUSE THIS IS EXHAUSTING. I LIKE [INSERT TRENDY POPULAR MEDIA WHORE HERE] BECAUSE HE/SHE/IT IS SO MUCH MORE COOLER THAN ALL YOU -Borgan-. RIGHT NOW, I HAVE BEEN PUTTING OFF MAKING A GRILLED CHEESE SANDWICH FOR THE PAST TWO HOURS, MY STOMACH HATES ME. I LIKE PROCRASTINATING, I WILL TELL YOU HOW MUCH I LIKE IT LATER. MY GOSH THIS FORUM SURE CAN HOLD A LOT OF SPACE, I MEAN, THIS HASN'T EVEN STRETCHED THE PAGE YET. I THOUGHT THIS WOULD BE A LOT EASIER THAN THIS, I HAVE DISAPPOINTED MYSELF. TODAY, I DID LAUNDRY. THREE TO FOUR WEEKS AGO I HURT MY BACK AND I AM STILL RECOVERING. I ALWAYS MISS THE CUP AND PISS ON MY HAND WHEN I PROVIDE DOCTORS WITH URINE SAMPLES, AND I DON'T WASH MY HANDS AFTERWARDS! JUST KIDDING, THAT WOULD BE GROSS. I HEAR FROM RELIABLE SOURCES THAT UNICORNS -Dragon Diamond- RAINBOWS. I WANT YOU ALL TO KNOW THAT TODAY I WILL BE TRYING TO STAY AWAKE ALL DAY TO GET MYSELF ON A NORMAL SLEEP SCHEDULE FOR MY TEST TOMORROW AND MY TRIP TO VIRGINIA. LATIN IS A STUPID LANGUAGE. UTAH SHOULD BE ITS OWN COUNTRY, I DON'T THINK THE FRENCH ARE ALL THAT BAD. HOCKEY IS ACTUALLY A PRETTY COOL SPORT. OH -Dragon Diamond- WE ARE ALL DOOMED, DAMN YOU GOOGLE! OH. MY. GOSH, GOOGLE IS SKYNET, OH SHIIIIIIIIT. NO WONDER ITS BEEN FOLLOWING ME ALL OVER, IT KNOWS I'M ON TO IT. AVENGE ME, SWEET INTERNETS! I THINK PANDAS HAVE SPECIALLY EVOLVED OVER TIME TO DIE. I WILL BE EDITING THIS LATER TO MAKE IT MORE TL;DR, MAYBE, I'M LAZY AND MY THUMB HURTS.[/cruise control]

[Sonic#]

ALSO, I'VE FOUND THAT WHILE TYPING IN CAPS LOCK I AM STRIKING THE KEYS ON MY KEYBOARD MUCH HARDER THAN I WOULD REGULARLY, OBVIOUSLY I AM TYPING VERY LOUDLY.

YES! IT HURTS! It's as bad as typing in all lower case and using punctuation. All I know from this post is that you're angry.

[phyco126]

This is now the new "Best post of the month." I have read and analysed every part of that post, and will decipher it sentence by sentence. I think it's Jenner's weakness.

[Werefrog]

Is the part about the evolution of Panda's a reference to the panda's thumb "controversy?"

[Blue_Sycro]

GRATUITOUS EXCLAMATION POINTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Is that anything like GRATUITOUS AMOUNTS OF ENERGY??

[WD RPG WD]

MY "GOSH" THIS FORUM SURE CAN HOLD A LOT OF SPACE


The only part of her post where she shows a little control.

[CatsWithMatches]

we love you too, jenner. don't ever change

[phyco126]

Cute avatar WD RPG WD. =P

[Nobiyuki77]

Jenner fills the void that Yuug once did on WDMB. Haven't heard from him in ages.

Don't change, Jenner.

[Jenner]

Jenner fills the void that Yuug once did on WDMB. Haven't heard from him in ages.

Don't change, Jenner.

I am awesome.

[GhaleonOne]

Except I can understand what Jenner says. I couldn't understand 99% of what Yuug was babbling on about in his posts. Although admittedly, this post did have a Yuug-like presence.

[Jenner]

Except I can understand what Jenner says. I couldn't understand 99% of what Yuug was babbling on about in his posts. Although admittedly, this post did have a Yuug-like presence.

I called him forth in a seance. I really should make the lead-post longer.

[Maru]

Jenner fills the void that Yuug once did on WDMB. Haven't heard from him in ages.

Don't change, Jenner.

I am awesome.

....Yes.

But I should honestly not surf this board when I come back from gallery openings, and are therefore drunk off of arty wine and beer (aka cheap PBR), because I read maybe five words of this and face-palmed myself.

But we adore you. I have no idea what this is about, nor do I care to hurt my eyes from reading it, but we adore you.

[Jenner]

OK I'M BACK NOW AND I'VE GOT MORE TO RANT ABOUT, IT'S ALMOST 5:30 IN THE MORNING, EASTERN TIME -Meryod-, BECAUSE EASTERN TIME IS THE ONLY LEGITIMATE TIME. ALL THOSE OTHER TIME ZONES CAN SUCK IT. I CAN'T SLEEP BECAUSE I WAS EMO ABOUT NOTHING WHATSOEVER AND SLEPT ALL DAY. NOW I'M AWAKE AND BORED AND THERE IS NOTHING ON THE INTERNET. I AM SO HORRIBLY, TRAGICALLY, ALONE. WOE IS ME, LIFE IS PAIN, ETC. ANYWAY, WHAT THE -Fatal Hopper- IS WRONG WITH BIRTHERS AND WHY DOES ANYONE LISTEN TO GLEN BECK? OR LIMBAUGH FOR THAT MATTER. ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THINGS, I ONLY LISTEN TO RACHEL MADDOW BECAUSE I WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH HER. I SAW THAT CNN ACTUALLY BOUGHT A VERSION OF THE DAILY SHOW TO PLAY ON THEIR NETWORK IT'S CALLED THE DAILY SHOW GLOBAL EDITION. I CAN ONLY ASSUME THEY DID THIS BECAUSE WALTER CRONKITE DIED (I DON'T -Fatal Hopper- CARE IF I SPELLED HIS NAME WRONG IT'S NOT LIKE HE CAN GET REVENGE NOW) AND A NEW MEDIA POLL SHOWED THAT MORE PEOPLE TRUSTED JON STEWART TO GIVE THEM LEGITIMATE NEWS THAN ANY OTHER MEDIA SOURCE. ISN'T THAT JUST SO SAD? AND YET, IT DOES NOT SURPRISE ME. SERIOUSLY, -Fatal Hopper- THE MEDIA. I'VE STARTED TAKING A DAILY VITAMIN TO GET MORE HEALTHY AND IT APPEARS TO BE WORKING BECAUSE I DO FEEL A WHOLE LOT BETTER. I FIXED UP MY BIKE AND I WAS GOING TO RIDE IT AROUND BUT ITS FRONT TIRE IS BUSTED. SUFFICE TO SAY, BEING HEALTHY IS HARD. I NEED TO DO LAUNDRY BUT I DON'T WANT TO. ALSO, DISHES NEED DONE BUT -Fatal Hopper- THEM. MY FEET HURT, AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHY. I GOT A NEW HAIRCUT AND I THINK IT LOOKS AWESOME. I GRADUATED FROM COMMUNITY COLLEGE AND I'M LOOKING INTO STARTING BIG GIRL COLLEGE IN THE SPRING. I'M HUNGRY BUT THERE IS NOTHING TO EAT IN THIS HOUSE. SOME -Fatal Hopper- DRANK ALL MY OVALTINE. OUR ICE TASTES FUNNY AND THE REFRIGERATOR MAKES OBNOXIOUS SOUNDS ALL THE TIME. MY CAR IS STARTING TO RUST. WE STARTED FIXING UP THE PLACE WE LIVE AND I HAD TO DUCT TAPE TRASH BAGS OVER MY WINDOWS TO KEEP THE HORRIBLE, NASTY, SUNLIGHT OUT. THE LATEST HARRY POTTER MOVIE REALLY WASN'T ALL THAT BAD, BUT TRANSFORMERS SUCKED. I HAVE A LESBIAN CRUSH ON PATRICIA TOWNSEND NOW. DEER HAVE STARTED TO TAKE OVER MY BACK YARD AND THEY ATE MY PERENNIALS. I TALKED A COP OUT OF GIVING ME A SPEEDING TICKET ON THURSDAY, I DIDN'T EVEN HAVE TO SHOW HIM MY BOOBS. I'M TOO COMFORTABLE WITH MY SHIRT OFF. I WANT TO ACQUIRE A BAD HABIT JUST TO FEEL DANGEROUS. I'M TEMPTED TO TRADE MY CAR IN VIA THIS CASH FOR CLUNKERS THING, EXCEPT MY CAR IS DOING FINE AND CAR PAYMENTS SUCK BALLS. I DON'T THINK THIS POST IS AS LONG AS THE LAST ONE WAS, I'M NOT SURE. I'M KINDA UPSET BECAUSE I KEEP LOSING THING AND THEN FORGETTING WHAT I'M LOOKING FOR AFTER I'VE LOST THEM. THERE'S NOT A LOT OF DECENT TELEVISION ANYMORE, I SHOULD STOP PAYING FOR CABLE. IF I STOPPED PAYING FOR CABLE I WOULDN'T GET TO WATCH ROBOT CHICKEN OR NCIS. YOU SHUT UP, NCIS IS COOL. THERE ARE THINGS I WOULD DO TO PAULY PERETTE THAT WOULD PUT ME IN PRISON BUT I WOULD HAVE NO REGRETS. KIZYR WOULD BAIL ME OUT IF I PROMISED TO SHOW HIM THE VIDEO TAPE ANYWAY. MARU AND I SHOULD HAVE SLOPPY MAKEOUTS. I WANT A PUPPY. I THINK WE SHOULD DROP CRATES OF WEAPONS AND AMMO ON THE IRANIAN PEOPLE AND LET THEM FIGHT IT OUT. I THINK KITTENS ARE CUTER THAN PUPPIES.
THIS IS ONE OF THE MOST ADORABLE PICTURES EVER. HISSING KITTENS ARE NOT INTIMIDATING. I THINK TUBERCULOSIS IS STILL SERIOUS BUSINESS. I WON THE SPECIAL OLYMPICS OF POETRY CONTESTS. I WISH I COULD FALL ASLEEP BECAUSE I AM SO -Fatal Hopper- BORED. SOMETIMES I TYPE SO FAST MY KEYBOARD DOESN'T RECOGNIZE MY KEYSTROKES SO I HAVE TO MENTALLY WILL MYSELF TO SLOW THE -Fatal Hopper- DOWN. ADDITIONALLY SOMETIMES THE SPACE BAR MISTIMES MY SPACING EVEN WHEN I'VE SPACED CORRECTLY BECAUSE OF HOW QUICKLY I TYPE. TYPING IN ALL CAPS IS HARD BECAUSE I STILL INSTINCTIVELY SHIFTCLICK THE "I" KEY AND THEN I HAVE TO GO BACK AND CAPS IT. SOMETIMES IT TAKES ME AWHILE TO REMEMBER HOW AND I EVEN GET FRUSTRATED WITH WHY IT'S STAYING SMALLCASE UNTIL I REMEMBER I HAVE CAPSLOCK ON BECAUSE I AM A SPECIAL KIND OF STUPID. GOOGLE IMAGE SEARCH HAS EVOLVED TOO WELL, IT USED TO BE YOU COULD SEARCH FOR SOMETHING AND GET ACCIDENTAL PORN AS A RESULT, BUT THAT JUST SO RARELY HAPPENS ANYMORE. I KEEP FORGETTING TO MAIL A COPY OF MY DIPLOMA TO MY GRAMPA IN FLORIDA. SOMEONE SHOULD LOG ON AND ENTERTAIN ME. I'M GOING TO GO WATCH YOUTUBE VIDEOS OF CUTE ANIMALS AND ANIME NOW.

[Ardent Fox]

I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE YELLING ABOUT!

[Shin Otaku III]

This thread crits me for over 9000

Also, stopped reading after this:

HOCKEY IS ACTUALLY A PRETTY COOL SPORT

[NallOne]

This topic reminded me why Jenner was the sole reason I started coming here.

[Sonic#]

I treat all-caps posts sort of like a word search. My eyes fall across certain words, but the whole thing doesn't make sense.

[Kaiya-Sky]

Kittens are Cuter then Puppies, nothing is cuter then a kitten. my hissing kitten was pretty imitading, everyone who came over was afraide of her.
Canada has daylight savings too

[Monde Luna]

SUFFICE TO SAY, BEING HEALTHY IS HARD.

You are quite entertaining. =)