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[Jiang Jin]

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[Kizyr]

Moved to The Arts section.

By the way, welcome to the forums! And sorry about the delay in activating your account... KF

[Jiang Jin]

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[Aaron]

It's certainly creative. There seem to be a lot of themes going on here. I picked up anti-captialism, anti-religion.

But where does this take place? The Blue Star?

It also doesn't seem to fit within Lunar's lore. There hasn't ever really been "extremely" advanced cultures. But I guess the Blue Star civilizations leave it open to that. Except I always pictured Lunar as more of a mix between very light technology and heavy mediveal magical kinda world.

I mean you if this were something like Lord of the Rings, you wouldn't expect to hear about ships and beam cannons. Although I'm reminded of the Dragonship Destiny.

I like the idea of nations fighting each other. I think and agree with you (probably) that the ol'save the world routine is overdone.

But to be honest, I just wasn't that interested in while reading this. No offense, its finely written. You just kinda throw the reader in to all the jargon and expect them to take it with full acceptance.