TSS text fun
Posted: Thu Apr 05, 2018 6:06 am
I'm picking up a long-backburnered project of mine which involves reviewing and formatting all of the TSS text. I've only looked at Caldor Isle and the Katarina Zone so far, but I wanted to share a few tidbits.
First, here are a few lines that almost certainly never appear in the game:
"THE BRIDGE ACROSS THE RIVER
HAS BEEN WASHED OUT.
I WAS TOLD THAT THE LOGGER
NEAR THE RIVER WAS SUPPOSED
TO FIX IT, BUT HE DOESN'T
SEEM VERY ANXIOUS TO GET IT
DONE. I'M BEGINNING TO THINK
HE'S MENTAL OR SOMETHING..."
I think probably a flag setting got messed up and this was supposed to be the first thing he says after the party tries to sell the Diamond to the item shop, but only the lines after these (which say nearly the same thing) show up.
(Burg weapon shop)
"THIS MIRROR SEEMS TO BE
PIERCING MY SOUL!
HERE, TAKE IT BACK...
KEEP THAT THING AWAY
FROM ME!"
(Burg item shop)
"THIS MIRROR SEEMS AS IF
IT'S DRAWING MY SOUL IN...
BRRRRR...EUHHH!
I CAN'T BUY SOMETHING LIKE
THIS..."
(Saith shop)
"THIS MIRROR SEEMS AS IF
IT'S DRAWING MY SOUL IN...
I'M AFRAID OF SPOOKS,
SO I REALLY DON'T WANT
SOMETHING LIKE THIS!"
You can't get to Caldor Isle while the Mirror is in your possession, so this text will never be displayed. Other shops have comparable dialogue, though, so it's not a huge loss. Selling any event item anywhere gets some sort of snarky comeback, as you probably already knew. Sometimes it's short and/or repetitive, other times...not.
(Meribia weapon shop)
"OH MY! THESE ARE WONDERFUL!
DRAGON'S WINGS! HOW DO YOU
USE THEM?...LET ME GUESS:
YOU THROW THEM AT THE ENEMY
AND FLAP THEM TO DEATH!..NO?
I'VE GOT IT! YOU HURL
THEM AT YOUR ENEMY
USING THE TALONS ON THE
END TO SLASH THEM! NO?
DO YOU PLUCK THE SCALES AND
DIP THEM IN POISON TO MAKE
BLOWGUN AMMO?!...NO?
UH,...I'VE GOT IT! YOU ROLL
'EM UP AND STUFF 'EM DOWN
YOUR ENEMY'S THROAT!...NO?"
So far I've found some of the most entertaining item-selling text to be in Vane. I'm not sure which shop this is, though:
"A SHIELD LIKE THIS CANNOT
BE MADE BY HUMAN HANDS
ALONE! I CAN'T AFFORD IT."
(Nall)
"ALEX, LUNA WILL SHRIVEL UP
AND DIE IF YOU DON'T RESCUE
HER! YOU NEED THIS SHIELD!"
"THIS HELMET HAS WORKMANSHIP
I'VE NOT SEEN IN YEARS!
IT'S FAR TOO VALUABLE..."
(Nall)
"IF YOU SELL THIS, THERE WILL
BE NO CHANCE OF SAVING LUNA!
IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT? HMM?"
"ARMOR SUCH AS THIS WOULD
FETCH MORE MONEY THAN IS
IN THE ENTIRE CITY!"
(Nall)
"THEN YOU CAN BUY A NICE
TOMBSTONE FOR LUNA'S GRAVE
WHEN YOU CAN'T SAVE HER!"
(Nall, presumably)
"DON'T SELL THE HERO'S CREST!
IT'S SO PRETTY...I WANT TO
LINE MY CAGE WITH IT!"
I really don't know what to make of that last one.
What else...well, as I mentioned in another thread, only one Vane NPC seems to be aware of Nash's crush on Mia. The same NPC is also the only one who suggests Nash's magical talents may only be modest, and that's only relative to Mia, so I think in this game Nash is actually supposed to be as good of a student as he claims, unlike in SSSC. It's kind of nice to see someone actually rooting for him for once. Of course, his moral character is rather stronger in this game, if less nuanced.
"PSST...THIS IS JUST BETWEEN
US, BUT I THINK NASH IS IN
LOVE WITH MIA!
IT'S PRETTY SAD, THOUGH.
NASH IS ABRASIVE AND MIA IS
KIND AND SWEET.
NASH IS A SMALL-TIME
MAGICIAN AND MIA'S ACTING
HEAD OF THE MAGIC GUILD OF
VANE...IT'LL NEVER WORK!"
(later)
"HEY NASH! HOW'S THE WOOING
OF MIA GOING? <WINK> <WINK>
MIA'S GOT TO BE IMPRESSED
WITH THE FACT THAT YOU'RE AN
APPRENTICE TO SAGE GHALEON!"
(later, probably when Nash is not in the party)
"OH, HI MIA....UH, SAY
HAS NASH ASKED YOU OUT YET?"
(Mia)
"ASKED ME OUT?"
(NPC)
"UH,....OH, NOTHING!
(later, when neither are in the party)
"I SAW THAT NASH AND MIA
WERE LOOKING FOR LEMIA
TOGETHER...
THAT'S SO CUTE! THEIR FIRST
DATE WAS LOOKING FOR HIS
CRAZY FUTURE MOTHER-IN-LAW."
(after Nash permanently joins the party)
"AH! NASH! SO, I HEAR THAT
YOU'RE HEADING OUT TO FIGHT
GHALEON WITH MIA...
I THINK YOU AND MIA MAKE
VERY NICE FIGHTING MATES, IF
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN..."
(Nash)
"DID I ASK FOR YOUR OPINION?
IF I WANT YOUR OPINION,
I'LL GIVE IT TO YOU!"
And, of course, so many pop refs. There are plenty I don't get because I'm oblivious, but even more that current players won't get because this is a 25-year-old game and some of the refs were pretty dated even in 1993. Like Ginsu knives. Of course, some have wrapped around and become oldies:
"IF YOU WANT TO PLAY WITH
THE BEST, YOU BETTER HAVE
A WAD OF CASH TO FLASH.
I DON'T HAVE TIME TO PLAY
FOR MARBLES......SO BEAT IT,
JUST BEAT IT...UUUGGH!"
I bet approximately no one saw that in-game. As far as I can tell, it's what Brett tells you the second time you talk to him if you don't have enough cash to play blackjack with him in the sewers, which probably won't be the case considering that you'll likely be getting into battles on your way to find him.
Last observation for this post: the logger's wife has a really astonishing amount of dialogue for a completely optional character. She even has a line (about the weather) before you meet up with Luna, for which you need to cross some monster-infested map with only one party member with no equipment except peasant clothes. Then her text changes:
- after getting Luna in the party
- after Ramus joins the party
- after trying to sell the diamond
- after her husband asks for his axe (2 lines)
- after getting the axe
- after giving the axe to her husband
- after getting the letter from Alex's father
- after getting Ramus back into the party (2 lines)
- after first going to Saith
- after being asked to get the sea chart
- after getting the flint for the lighthouse
- after returning to Caldor Isle with Ghaleon (3 lines)
- after Quark's death
- after Burg's residents are captured
- after one more event (becoming dragonmaster? Burg villagers return?)
I think Alex's father's dialogue changes more often, but I'd be surprised if anyone else's does.
First, here are a few lines that almost certainly never appear in the game:
"THE BRIDGE ACROSS THE RIVER
HAS BEEN WASHED OUT.
I WAS TOLD THAT THE LOGGER
NEAR THE RIVER WAS SUPPOSED
TO FIX IT, BUT HE DOESN'T
SEEM VERY ANXIOUS TO GET IT
DONE. I'M BEGINNING TO THINK
HE'S MENTAL OR SOMETHING..."
I think probably a flag setting got messed up and this was supposed to be the first thing he says after the party tries to sell the Diamond to the item shop, but only the lines after these (which say nearly the same thing) show up.
(Burg weapon shop)
"THIS MIRROR SEEMS TO BE
PIERCING MY SOUL!
HERE, TAKE IT BACK...
KEEP THAT THING AWAY
FROM ME!"
(Burg item shop)
"THIS MIRROR SEEMS AS IF
IT'S DRAWING MY SOUL IN...
BRRRRR...EUHHH!
I CAN'T BUY SOMETHING LIKE
THIS..."
(Saith shop)
"THIS MIRROR SEEMS AS IF
IT'S DRAWING MY SOUL IN...
I'M AFRAID OF SPOOKS,
SO I REALLY DON'T WANT
SOMETHING LIKE THIS!"
You can't get to Caldor Isle while the Mirror is in your possession, so this text will never be displayed. Other shops have comparable dialogue, though, so it's not a huge loss. Selling any event item anywhere gets some sort of snarky comeback, as you probably already knew. Sometimes it's short and/or repetitive, other times...not.
(Meribia weapon shop)
"OH MY! THESE ARE WONDERFUL!
DRAGON'S WINGS! HOW DO YOU
USE THEM?...LET ME GUESS:
YOU THROW THEM AT THE ENEMY
AND FLAP THEM TO DEATH!..NO?
I'VE GOT IT! YOU HURL
THEM AT YOUR ENEMY
USING THE TALONS ON THE
END TO SLASH THEM! NO?
DO YOU PLUCK THE SCALES AND
DIP THEM IN POISON TO MAKE
BLOWGUN AMMO?!...NO?
UH,...I'VE GOT IT! YOU ROLL
'EM UP AND STUFF 'EM DOWN
YOUR ENEMY'S THROAT!...NO?"
So far I've found some of the most entertaining item-selling text to be in Vane. I'm not sure which shop this is, though:
"A SHIELD LIKE THIS CANNOT
BE MADE BY HUMAN HANDS
ALONE! I CAN'T AFFORD IT."
(Nall)
"ALEX, LUNA WILL SHRIVEL UP
AND DIE IF YOU DON'T RESCUE
HER! YOU NEED THIS SHIELD!"
"THIS HELMET HAS WORKMANSHIP
I'VE NOT SEEN IN YEARS!
IT'S FAR TOO VALUABLE..."
(Nall)
"IF YOU SELL THIS, THERE WILL
BE NO CHANCE OF SAVING LUNA!
IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT? HMM?"
"ARMOR SUCH AS THIS WOULD
FETCH MORE MONEY THAN IS
IN THE ENTIRE CITY!"
(Nall)
"THEN YOU CAN BUY A NICE
TOMBSTONE FOR LUNA'S GRAVE
WHEN YOU CAN'T SAVE HER!"
(Nall, presumably)
"DON'T SELL THE HERO'S CREST!
IT'S SO PRETTY...I WANT TO
LINE MY CAGE WITH IT!"
I really don't know what to make of that last one.
What else...well, as I mentioned in another thread, only one Vane NPC seems to be aware of Nash's crush on Mia. The same NPC is also the only one who suggests Nash's magical talents may only be modest, and that's only relative to Mia, so I think in this game Nash is actually supposed to be as good of a student as he claims, unlike in SSSC. It's kind of nice to see someone actually rooting for him for once. Of course, his moral character is rather stronger in this game, if less nuanced.
"PSST...THIS IS JUST BETWEEN
US, BUT I THINK NASH IS IN
LOVE WITH MIA!
IT'S PRETTY SAD, THOUGH.
NASH IS ABRASIVE AND MIA IS
KIND AND SWEET.
NASH IS A SMALL-TIME
MAGICIAN AND MIA'S ACTING
HEAD OF THE MAGIC GUILD OF
VANE...IT'LL NEVER WORK!"
(later)
"HEY NASH! HOW'S THE WOOING
OF MIA GOING? <WINK> <WINK>
MIA'S GOT TO BE IMPRESSED
WITH THE FACT THAT YOU'RE AN
APPRENTICE TO SAGE GHALEON!"
(later, probably when Nash is not in the party)
"OH, HI MIA....UH, SAY
HAS NASH ASKED YOU OUT YET?"
(Mia)
"ASKED ME OUT?"
(NPC)
"UH,....OH, NOTHING!
(later, when neither are in the party)
"I SAW THAT NASH AND MIA
WERE LOOKING FOR LEMIA
TOGETHER...
THAT'S SO CUTE! THEIR FIRST
DATE WAS LOOKING FOR HIS
CRAZY FUTURE MOTHER-IN-LAW."
(after Nash permanently joins the party)
"AH! NASH! SO, I HEAR THAT
YOU'RE HEADING OUT TO FIGHT
GHALEON WITH MIA...
I THINK YOU AND MIA MAKE
VERY NICE FIGHTING MATES, IF
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN..."
(Nash)
"DID I ASK FOR YOUR OPINION?
IF I WANT YOUR OPINION,
I'LL GIVE IT TO YOU!"
And, of course, so many pop refs. There are plenty I don't get because I'm oblivious, but even more that current players won't get because this is a 25-year-old game and some of the refs were pretty dated even in 1993. Like Ginsu knives. Of course, some have wrapped around and become oldies:
"IF YOU WANT TO PLAY WITH
THE BEST, YOU BETTER HAVE
A WAD OF CASH TO FLASH.
I DON'T HAVE TIME TO PLAY
FOR MARBLES......SO BEAT IT,
JUST BEAT IT...UUUGGH!"
I bet approximately no one saw that in-game. As far as I can tell, it's what Brett tells you the second time you talk to him if you don't have enough cash to play blackjack with him in the sewers, which probably won't be the case considering that you'll likely be getting into battles on your way to find him.
Last observation for this post: the logger's wife has a really astonishing amount of dialogue for a completely optional character. She even has a line (about the weather) before you meet up with Luna, for which you need to cross some monster-infested map with only one party member with no equipment except peasant clothes. Then her text changes:
- after getting Luna in the party
- after Ramus joins the party
- after trying to sell the diamond
- after her husband asks for his axe (2 lines)
- after getting the axe
- after giving the axe to her husband
- after getting the letter from Alex's father
- after getting Ramus back into the party (2 lines)
- after first going to Saith
- after being asked to get the sea chart
- after getting the flint for the lighthouse
- after returning to Caldor Isle with Ghaleon (3 lines)
- after Quark's death
- after Burg's residents are captured
- after one more event (becoming dragonmaster? Burg villagers return?)
I think Alex's father's dialogue changes more often, but I'd be surprised if anyone else's does.